when one gets down on her luck, even the CUP NOODLES has something to say.

i can't believe out of the thousand times i ate cup noodles, this is the first time i encounter a leaking cup. wtf? it is neither cup noodles nor instant noodles anymore. i have to transfer the contents into a bowl before soaking the noodles with hot water again. waste my time.

today is just not my day. whenever the mother returns, the mama-drama repeats again. i mean, if she is not happy to come back, just dont! i regretted not going to work this afternoon. i always avoided her but today i was really tired.

once she stepped into the house, she started making banging noises by handling things roughly. then she screamed at me for putting my shoes around instead of stacking them up. i seriously tried my best to not agitate her and did as she told. anyway, it's just 2 pairs of shoes we are talking abt here, i dont even have a shoerack to mess up for goodness sake.

for a millionth time she complained about us making her life difficult. told me that she can't wait to divorce dad, cant wait to get her new life, her plans to sell the house away after the divorce (cos' the law says so for divorced couples).......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................bla bla bla

i snapped. i told her "pls get the divorce done immediately. i can't wait to move out."

then she snapped. and we quarrelled. i bet our neighbours could hear us loud and clear. for father, i have no plans to stay with him. what he has given me for my childhood was painful and unforgettable, no matter how great he is now. and there is no way that im gonna stay with her and her DARLING and call someone else my stepfather.

i am really fucking tired of this shit. she always has this ability to make me feel that i am a baggage to her.

where is my happy family? i don't know.

i never did.

no matter how nicely the marriage vows were written and spoke of, they are just a pack of bullshit and lies.

even 20 years of marriage can end up like this. then, what is a 4-years relationship compared to this? i dont wanna let go. but you seem willing and prepared to. i just wanted a break for us. i know we both need that. then you took the chance. didn't bother to contact me for more than a month. SMSed you that we need to chant for us, hoping that something will work out. i thought we seriously ought to do that. No reply from you.

ah, i know. silent breakup. rather popular nowadays, isn't it? i am just spiteful that it is so easy for you. 4 long years. BOOMZ is a right word to use here.

best friend also on the verge of breaking up with her boyfriend. we really do everything together :)

among my SIM clique, one hopelessly fell for another whom is happily attached, another two are ending it sour. good friends should remain status quo. otherwise, nothing is worth treasuring.

these are things which i dont really want to pen down here as i know ppl are reading. i've seldom talked about my family, my personal relationships here cos there are ppl out there whom are seriously concerned. sorry for letting you see the expletives and ugly side of me.

i will be good :) i will pursue happiness that is rightfully mine. i will marry someone whom loves me with all his heart(hopefully) and thinks that i am his special one. i will never let my marriage fail. and i will give my children the best family their mummy never had.