It does seems a lil weird not meeting Elleen for supper tonight, as we did every other night for the past week. Nonetheless, i shall spend my time wisely by writing a gd post up here.

Last Sunday, the bunch of us went to Siloso Beach for a 1 vs 9 Frisbee invitational by Chester.
It was obviously a flop of his plan, as the 1 whom the other 9 are going to challenge chickened out. Elleen was invited rather last min as her boss ate the wrong pill somehow and granted her a Sunday off the day before. The guys should seriously thank me for that. *wink*

Anyway we had lotsa fun there, from playing frisbee to beach volleyball to horsing around in the waters. That was a day i totally enjoyed myself. I have never had so much fun for a long time. You know, I had been bugging Chester for a frisbee game yet he kept putting it off. I then learnt from Alan that Chester organised this outing after he read my blog post on Oct 24th. No wonder. I was no doubt very touched by his "hidden agenda" behind these, and i was thinking "Hey man, this is the reason why Ghz put me here in SIM."
Because i will have great friends.
My hand injuries from all the fun (omg, they would say)

What i needed most actually came from my friends. It has been long since someone did something for me. Recently, i'm blessed with fun with these buddies and i thought i am the luckiest and happiest girl on Earth. Thanks to you guys especially Chester and Alan and definitely for sure, Elleen, my closest sister and confidante. Although no one can foresee what will happen to us in years ahead, but for now i know we have not let our precious youth go to waste with this karmic bond bestowed upon us.

Love is not something you expect the other party to know. The way to show a drama is to show it, not tell. Just like this. It was written by Josiah, Jianli's buddy in OCS. He can even quote with the contents of the Bible which is amazing. (I will marry the guy who will be able to do it in the context of Gosho, haha jk) It takes courage for a man to do something like this on Facebook. I'm impressed by his unwavering love for his gf, and im certain they will have a happy ending :)

I had a HTHT with my mother yesterday. (HTHT = heart to heart talk, credits to NTU) I confessed to her everything that has happened to me. I showed her pictures, of Elleen, of my SIM friends and those who really care for me. So if you are reading my blog now, yeap you are most likely included in the list. I expressed my feelings to her how devastated i am by everything that is crumbling in my life.

I decided to let it go. What i am undergoing is never known to someone who has a happy family, someone who has decided to go gaseous without any reason the time when i needed him most. Even though i may be in the wrong, where are you when i needed you most? Do you still think of me before you go to slp?

Not as though these answers matter.

Not anymore.

Too bad we will never hit year 5.

I make the decision. I know you are waiting for someone to do that.
Let me be the one. "Stella initiated this", you can say.

We can blame no one but ourselves. This problem has been with us long time ago. Even our friends can see it, yet none of us has the courage to face it squarely. Be strong, my dear. You will be able to find someone better than me very soon :) I'm not sure if we can be normal friends again, but you are someone whose happiness is especially vital to me.

Perhaps to me, you are not the one i lose. I am someone you have lost; someone who is irreplaceable, someone who has loved you with all her heart.

And someone who you will never have back again.